My training is as a psychologist and psychotherapist and as far back as I remember, I have been trying to find the connection between psychology and spirituality. The Course in Miracles has opened this area up for me in a way that nothing else has ever been able to do before.

I have been in physical pain on my left side (feminine side)for over 20+ years which has kept plaguing me and which I did not fully understand. I have had two major operations and multiple diagnoses. But no relief.

In November last year, I had to take time off work because of this unpredictable, intermittent and incredibly intense pain. I prayed to the Holy Spirit to help me correct my thinking and to see things differently and to help me clear the blocks which were holding me back from being happy.

On the day after I had uttered this request, I received a phone call from Suzanne asking me whether I would be interested in coming to the Holy Relationship workshop in London with Sandy Levey-Lunden.

When I came to the Holy Relationship weekend in December, I was in a lot of pain but that didn't stop me as I was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Early on in the workshop, I found myself very triggered by the statements of a man I would describe as chauvinist and sexist in my ego state and whom I would thank from Love at the end of the workshop, because of course, this provided the ideal opportunity to work, and off I went. I found myself working on father issues (surprise surprise) and during that weekend, layers and layers of false perceptions were peeled away. I underwent a re-birthing with Jasmin which was a profound and powerful experience and which re-connected me with being a woman. I cleared and cleared with Carlos and then also received a Body Balance Healing from him. When I came away from the weekend, while I knew I had received the clearing and healing I had asked for, I did not yet know how it would impact on my future.

I live in the UK but my partner, with whom I met up again 6 ½ years ago after an absence of 24 years (we had met while we were both at University in Germany) lives in Germany. All this time we have not seen a way forward for our relationship but we also have not been able to let go of each other. So we have travelled to and from each other's homes and suffered at each enforced parting. His wish was that I come and live with him. I was resistant to this though I did hear him. I said to him that I could only come and live with him if this was guided by the Holy Spirit. And at that moment there was no such impulse.

Over Christmas, I travelled to Germany to be with him. Early on Christmas day before dawn, we had planned to go up onto a hill and each say a prayer, part of which was: “Father I fully accept Your Will for me. And Your Will is only that I be happy and use my time to extend my treasure” (Way of the Heart, Ch.11, channelled by Jayem). We did this and then went home.

Less than a week later, my body began to exhibit signs of unexpressed grief (sore throat, cold, tightness in chest leading to difficulty in breathing) and I could not comprehend why, as I was having a good relaxing time. However, with the realisation that I must be grieving, suddenly came the impulse to cry. I did but still didn't know why. And as I cried and cried and cried, all these memories came up which had to do with my Beloved, whom I had known since we were young but his circumstances had caused us to part (he was married and had yet to complete with his then wife) and I had gone off to another country and married there and had children. I cried for the grief of our parting then and I cried for the fact that we were still not living together and I cried for the fact that I feel so good with him and yet still live in England. I cried out: ”What am I doing not being with him?” I cried to the Holy Spirit that I didn't know what to do.

Then I calmed down and waited.

I shared with my partner what I had experienced and he was deeply moved.

Very gently, it dawned on me that I must move to Germany to be with him and to stop denying myself our happiness.

This is what is going to happen by the end of this year!

What's more, I am going as the co-founder of the first Course in Miracles group in Essen! I am 59 this year, I have no job to go to, I have no property to sell here, so there is no financial security of the worldly kind behind me but I go with Love and Joy in my heart, knowing that I will be provided for as I extend my treasure.

My left side has not hurt since then.

I thank Sandy and her team from the depths of my Soul for being there when I needed to work on these profound life issues! Their work is enabling and holy.